Tools for Loved Ones
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Never dismiss what your loved one is saying. If your child/adolescent, friend, or family member confides in thoughts of suicide, believe them and support them.
Listen with empathy and provide support. A fight or breakup might not seem like a big deal, but for a young person, it can feel immense. Empathize and listen. Don’t minimize their feelings, it can affect how they reach out for support in the future.
Learn the warning signs. Friends sometimes let friends know if they are thinking about suicide or dying. Other times, changes in behavior may show that someone is struggling. For more guidance on steps to help someone thinking of suicide.
Don’t keep suicide a secret. If your friend is considering suicide, don’t promise to keep it a secret. Tell him or her you can help, but you must involve others, like a trusted adult. Neither of you has to face this alone.
All information was written and gathered from https://988lifeline.org
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If you think someone is thinking about suicide, assume you are the only one who will reach out. Here’s how to talk to someone who may be struggling with their mental health.
Have an honest conversation
1. Talk to them in private
2. Listen to their story
3. Tell them you care about them
4. Ask directly if they are thinking about suicide
5. Encourage them to seek treatment or contact their doctor or therapist
6. Avoid debating the value of life, minimizing their problems, or giving advice
Assume you're the only one who will reach out
If You’re Concerned About Someone
Talk in Private
Listen to their story, and let them know you care. Ask directly about suicide calmly and without judgment. Show understanding and take their concerns seriously. Let them know their life matters to you. That one conversation could save a life.
If a Person Says They Are Thinking About Suicide
Take the Person Seriously
Someone considering suicide is experiencing a life-threatening health crisis and may not believe they can be helped. Work with them to keep them safe from lethal means like firearms and drugs and remind them that their suffering is temporary.
Stay with them and call or text the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 988
Follow up with them after the crisis to see how they’re doing.
If You’re Struggling
Don’t Wait for Someone to Reach Out
Seek mental health treatment, or tell your clinician about your suicidal thinking.
Treat yourself like you would treat someone else who needs your help.
If a person says they are considering suicide
• Take the person seriously
• Stay with them
• Help them remove lethal means
• Call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 988
• Text 988 to text a trained crisis counselor from the Crisis Text Line for free, 24/7
• Escort them to mental health services or an emergency room
All information was written and gathered from https://afsp.org/what-to-do-when-someone-is-at-risk
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Persistent sad, anxious, or “empty” mood
● Feelings of hopelessness or pessimism
● Feelings of irritability, frustration‚ or restlessness
● Feelings of guilt, worthlessness, or helplessness
● Loss of interest or pleasure in hobbies or activities
● Decreased energy, fatigue, or being “slowed down.”
● Difficulty concentrating, remembering, or making decisions
● Difficulty sleeping, early morning awakening, or oversleeping
● Changes in appetite or unplanned weight changes
● Aches or pains, headaches, cramps, or digestive problems without a clear physical cause and that do not ease even with treatment
● Suicide attempts or thoughts of death or suicide
If you or someone you know is in immediate distress or is thinking about hurting themselves, CALL or TEXT the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 988 or the toll-free TTY number at 1-800-799-4TTY (4889). or go to the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline website at https://988lifeline.org
All information was written and gathered from https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org.
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A safety plan is designed to guide your loved one through a crisis. They can help themselves and feel safer as they proceed through the steps. Keep the plan easily accessible in case they have thoughts of hurting themselves.
Click the link below to make your Safety Plan.
All information on this page was written and gathered from 988lifeline.org.
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Click on the link for a toolkit to help you help your loved one who is suicidal. The information is from the US Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration.
https://store.samhsa.gov/sites/default/files/SAMHSA_Digital_Download/PEP20-01-03-001.pdf
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Warning signs that may indicate urgent suicidality:
Looking for ways to kill oneself: seeking access to pills, weapons, or other means.
Talking about wanting to hurt or kill oneself, especially with a plan for how to do so.
Engaging in self-harm or non-suicidal self-injury.
Saying goodbye to friends and family. Giving away possessions.
If someone is displaying the above warning signs and is about to or in the process of making an attempt, get help immediately.
Don’t leave the person alone.
Call 911 and tell them your loved one is actively suicidal and at immediate risk of physical
If your loved one is amenable and not trying to actively harm themselves, you can bring them to the emergency room and report that they are actively suicidal. Every emergency room is equipped to evaluate a suicidal individual and/or will connect you with needed resources. This is only an option if you believe that your loved one will not try to get out of the vehicle, in which case calling 911 is the safest option.
Remove any firearms, knives, medications, or other means that can be tools for self-harm
Tell a family member or friend. Don’t try to handle the situation alone.
National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: If your loved one is having thoughts about suicide and is about to, or in the process of making a suicide attempt, call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255) or call or text 988 for help.
All information on this page was copied from SAMHSA. Click the link below for the full toolkit to help your loved ones.
https://store.samhsa.gov/sites/default/files/SAMHSA_Digital_Download/PEP20-01-03-001.pdf
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Understanding Suicide
When a friend or family member has suicidal thoughts or attempts suicide, it is a traumatic event that impacts the entire family. It is normal to feel scared, confused, or angry. If you are finding it difficult to determine whether or not your family member is at risk of suicide, seek help, and don’t wait. Families and friends play a key role in suicide prevention. This guide will help you understand how to respond to your loved ones who are in emotional distress and struggling with thoughts of suicide, as well as how to help get them the necessary support and treatment.
Common Misconceptions about Suicide
Suicide is a major public health problem. It is the 10th leading cause of death in the United States, resulting in about one death every 11 minutes.4
Myth: Asking someone if they are suicidal may put the idea in their head.
Fact: Asking a loved one about suicide will not make them suicidal. In fact, the person thinking of suicide may feel relieved to be asked about it and grateful to have a safe place to share their thoughts.
Myth: A mention of suicide is not serious enough to require help.
Fact: When a friend or family member has thoughts about suicide, take their words seriously. When someone talks about hurting themselves, this is a warning sign to act and help them. There are many treatment options available that are effective in reducing suicidal thoughts and behaviors.
Myth: Treatments don’t work anyway.
Fact: Many well-researched and effective therapies are available to help your loved one, from counseling to medications and other treatments.
Myth: People attempt suicide to gain sympathy.
Fact: A suicide attempt needs to be taken seriously. It is not an attempt to gain sympathy from others but rather demonstrates significant distress and despair about life. In fact, if your loved one has attempted suicide, there is an increased risk that they may make another attempt. People are said to be at the greatest risk for another suicide attempt or death by suicide within one year after the initial attempt.
All information was copied from the SAMHSA. Click on the link below for the complete report.
https://store.samhsa.gov/sites/default/files/SAMHSA_Digital_Download/PEP20-01-03-001.pdf
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Pay Attention to the Risk Factors for Suicide:
Mental disorders, especially depression, alcohol or drug dependence, and eating or conduct disorders.
Family history of suicide, trauma, physical or sexual abuse.
History of psychiatric hospitalization and non-suicidal self-harm behavior.
Chronic physical illness, including chronic pain and/or traumatic brain injury.
Social isolation, loneliness or hopelessness, and feeling a burden to others.
Impulsive, reckless tendencies, and aggressive or violent behaviors.
Loss and major events (e.g., relational, social, work, financial, divorce).
Live in areas where others have recently died by suicide.
Unwillingness to seek help or have trouble accessing help.
Access to lethal means (e.g., prescription medications, firearms, knives, and poisons).
All information was copied from the SAMHSA. Click on the link below for the complete report.
https://store.samhsa.gov/sites/default/files/SAMHSA_Digital_Download/PEP20-01-03-001.pdf
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In addition to the urgent warning signs, it is imperative to know these additional warning signs and take action if your loved one is displaying these behaviors, especially if the behavior is new or has increased recently:
Posting distressing messages on social media.
Showing dramatic mood shifts and talking about being a burden to others, expressing hopelessness.
Feeling trapped, like there is no way out.
Acting recklessly; increased use of alcohol or other drugs.
Sleeping too little or too much.
Withdrawing from friends, family, and society.
Additional warning signs specific to youth include:
They have a peer or friend who has died by suicide.
They have suffered a recent humiliation or embarrassment (e.g., bullying, breakup).
Their quality of schoolwork is decreasing.
Take Action by Asking Questions and Listening:
Talk openly and honestly about suicide, and don’t be afraid to use the word “suicide.” Help them feel understood, not accused or blamed. Listen to their concerns and take them seriously. Your job is to listen so they can talk about the feelings that might be contributing to their distress.
Some examples of what you can say:
“I want to help you. Please tell me what I can do to help.”
“I am here for you whenever you want to talk.”
“I’m here to support you, not judge you.”
“I’m sorry I didn’t realize you are in such pain.”
All information was copied from the SAMHSA. Click the link below for the full report.
https://store.samhsa.gov/sites/default/files/SAMHSA_Digital_Download/PEP20-01-03-001.pdf
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A person displaying warning signs of suicide and/or attempting suicide should always be evaluated by a mental health professional as soon as possible. Untreated underlying mental illnesses can lead to suicidal thoughts, and it is important to get appropriate treatment for them, which will ultimately help with treating suicidality. You can help your loved one contact their primary care physician to arrange a mental health screening and evaluation. You can also find a licensed mental health professional who is trained in suicide prevention and evidence-based treatments. Always remember to follow the action steps on the inside cover of this brochure if your loved one is demonstrating urgent warning signs and has made a suicide attempt or you are afraid they are about to make a suicide attempt.
The following are some ways to get connected to mental health professionals:
Call or Text 988 or visit https://988lifeline.org.
SAMHSA’s Behavioral Health Treatment Services Locator is an online resource for locating your area's mental health and substance use/addiction treatment facilities and services. You can also call 1-800-662-HELP (4357).
Look within your insurance’s behavioral health network for providers, usually available on their website or by calling them, to discuss covered options for behavioral health providers.
Call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255). For TTY users: use your preferred relay service or dial 711, then 1-800-273-8255. To chat, visit Lifeline Live Chat.
Veterans Crisis Line: 1-800-273-TALK (8255), PRESS 1.
LGBTQ Youth: The Trevor Project has trained counselors who specialize in talking to LGBTQ youth who are in crisis. Call Trevor Lifeline at 1-866-488-7346. To chat, use Trevor Chat. To use Trevor Text: text START to 678-678.
The Crisis Text Line: text HELLO to 741741.
All information was copied from the SAMHSA. Click the link below for the full report.
https://store.samhsa.gov/sites/default/files/SAMHSA_Digital_Download/PEP20-01-03-001.pdf
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Questions to Ask Providers or the Treatment Team
As part of your loved one’s care, you may meet many different providers through acute crisis care and follow-up. Be prepared to ask your questions again to different people at each step in the process because the answers may change based on the provider’s role. Remember, you are a crucial part of your loved one’s care, so feel confident to ask any questions you have of the treatment team. Don’t feel rushed. Don’t be embarrassed if you don’t understand. It is your right to ask questions of your providers and even to challenge their decisions. Below is a list of questions that can be used in various treatment settings, from outpatient primary care visits to inpatient psychiatric facilities.
What is your role in my loved one’s care?
Can you explain how you are making decisions about my family member’s care or treatment?
What does the treatment plan entail for my loved one? How will they be monitored, how will you measure treatment effectiveness, and what is the length of stay?
Can you review the details of the discharge plan? What type of providers and treatments are planned, and what will occur at follow-up appointments?
What types of treatments and interventions will they receive here, and what are the evidence and risks/benefits of each one?
Are you prescribing medication as part of my loved one’s treatment? How long until the medication works? Are there any side effects?
What can I do to be most helpful to my loved one’s treatment (specifically about the safety and prevention plan)?
Who can I speak to if I am concerned about the services for my loved one?
What does the safety plan look like, and can I have a copy?
Who gets to see my loved one’s medical records, charts, or documentation?
What payment options are available for my loved one’s care? Who decides which services are covered and which are not?
Can you give me documentation that I can pass on to my loved one’s school or work to explain their absence?
What should we look for after this, and when should we seek more help, such as contacting other local resources and providers?
Help Your Loved One Prevent Future Suicidal Behaviors and Attempts
When your loved one is not in crisis or at immediate risk of attempting suicide, there are steps you can take to help them cope with distress and prevent a future crisis by creating a safety net.
Make a Safety Plan:
A safety plan is a written list of coping strategies and resources to remind a person having suicidal thoughts to focus on activities or reach out to people who can help. Help your loved one create a personalized plan in collaboration with a provider. One important safety step is to make the environment as safe as possible by removing sharp objects, guns, and/or pills. Learn more and get templates for creating a safety plan at AFSP or A Journey Toward Health & Hope. Smartphone applications are available at the MY3 app.
Help to Strengthen Protective Factors:
Just as exercise and healthy eating can guard against heart disease, protective factors can help buffer individuals against suicidal thoughts and behaviors. Some examples include:
n Strong relationships with your care providers and communicating with them early and often when there
are concerns.
Use a treatment plan, regular follow-up visits, medication, and/or psychotherapy.
Family and community support (connectedness).
Easy access to effective care for mental health, physical, and substance abuse disorders.
Religious or personal beliefs that are against suicide.
Problem-solving and conflict-resolution skills.
Stay Connected to Your Loved One:
Stay Connected to Your Loved One:
Stay connected by following up with your loved one to see how they are doing. Give them a call or send a text. This type of contact can increase feelings of connectedness and show your ongoing support. Research shows that brief, supportive, ongoing contact can help reduce the risk of suicide.
Seek Support for Yourself:
Caring for loved ones with suicidal thoughts and behaviors is incredibly challenging. Sometimes family and friends can do everything in their power to help a loved one; however, death by suicide or a suicide attempt cannot be prevented. In this case, it is vital to know that it is not your fault and that those with strong suicidal thoughts suffer from an illness you are not responsible for treating or preventing. It is imperative that you do not blame yourself or others in this situation and that you get the necessary support for yourself. Some ways to get this support and engage in self-care include practicing healthy coping skills and getting support from friends and family, community groups, and obtaining help from a professional. Don’t be afraid to discuss how you feel with your primary care doctor or look for a mental health professional yourself. Join a peer support group to connect with other families who are going through the same challenges.